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The rules of relationships aren't simple, but having a set of mutual "rules" in place—especially when your brand of romance is a polyamorous relationship—is one smart way to keep your love life a bit less complicated. I put "rules" in quotes because, let's be real, no one wants to be held to strict expectations or standards in matters of love. Why does that matter? In a polyamorous relationshipwhere three or more people maintain an emotionally and typically physically intimate relationship with each other, things can get messy fast. The more people in a relationship, the greater the chance of complications because you're dealing with more feelings, explains Jane Greer, PhD, New York-based relationship and family therapist and author of What About Me?
And while polyamory can be great for some—it allows partners to explore relationships with other people in order to fulfill emotional needs that their partners might not, after all—it can trudge up feelings of neglect that could drive you and at least one of your partners apart.
So whether you're just intrigued by the idea of polyamory or are already in a committed throuple yourself, consider these 8 rules your roadmap to a happy, healthy, three-way or four-way! You might prefer your partner simply say they're "going out" when they have a date with someone else and leave it at that.
And when it comes to deets about you, tell your partner straight-up whether you're comfortable with her discussing your intimate moments with someone else. Whether or not you love gushing about your unique relationship, you don't want to share everything with the outside world. Keeping certain things private preserves the moments that are just for you and your partner think: trips, dates, movies —it keeps them feeling special and intimate, says Greer. Dating and relationships aren't what they used to be. Answers to your most pressing questions on modern romances, here:.
Let's say you and your most ificant other always go to the same restaurant on your anniversary. You have every right to make some "territorial" claims, as long as you approach them in a mature, nonconfrontational manner.
This'll encourage him and the rest of your group to show you the same courtesy. All relationships call for balance, but ones involving multiple people do even more so, says Greer. One way to keep yours on solid ground?
Being open to the idea of rapid change will soften the blow if and when things suddenly shift. Perhaps your partner "randomly" decides they'd like to be monogamous with their other partner and breaks up with you, or you realize you're no longer feeling your current partners.
No shame, but best to protect your heart by keeping an open dialogue with it. And that's never a good thing. Even if you're happy with one person in your poly relationship but not another, that still counts as an unhappy relationship, btw. Learning how to be alone is just as important as making time to spend with your partners, says Greer. Keep in mind that polyamory only works when everyone is on board with it. You should only move forward with a polyamorous relationship if you're truly open and willing to give it a try—for you.
If you're a traditionalist and you just can't fathom being happy when your partner is happy with someone else too, you might want to put down this rulebook entirely In the end, a quality of a relationship matters way more than the quantity of it. Weight Loss. United States. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Per Magnus Persson Getty Images. Related Story.
You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site. Related Stories. Aryelle Siclait Associate Editor Aryelle Siclait is the associate editor at Women's Health where she writes and edits articles about relationships, sexual health, pop culture, and fashion for verticals across WomensHealthMag.
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8 Rules You Should Be Following If You're In A Polyamorous Relationship